WOW has it been that long? GOSH, I need to start updating.

Happy holidays even though it's very belated. Nothing has been going on so far, well, yeah something has been bugging me. Hopefully it will get out of my head, which it will. I seriously do not have anything to say. I just hope there aren't any stalkers around. BLAH BLAH.

Very very bored. oh gosh i dont feel like capitalizing my i's, they are too boring. the capitalized i's look like lowercase l's. BLAH all i wanna do is just type type type. harhar i am listening to the beegees! MWAHAHA, i know you are jealous.

Random thought

I hate it. Highschool, not sucha big deal, but if you have your favored highschool on the tip of an iceberg, you wish it will fall into your hands. It's sad knowing people that are forced, or pressured attending to CAMS. I bet most of the answers I will hear coming out of the CAMS applicant's mouth, is "I want to go to CAMS because they base everything on math and science." True, but favoring around two things isn't going to get you anywhere. What motivates you? The subjects favored are not a specific answer once you attend this type of school. They do not realize that it is competitive, and that they can easily get in CAMS. At this point, I know many people can be confused because of the "easily get in CAMS" part, but its true! Gosh, I am really chagrinned knowing people who are skeptic about CAMS, do not mind attending another high school and can easily get accepted, and people who want to get accepted, but have a harder chance.

What are my reasons? I know I want to go to CAMS mainly because my goal in life is to conquer a harder learning experience. I want to be an individual still finding out my true self-what I am adroit to. Why can't I strive for the best instead of succeeding for only the better? I have a passion for science; I definitely know that much about my self. Probably CAMS can get me a head start on life since I am stuck in a box so far.

My passion for writing has taken another step. I believe I use more of my literature side of my brain instead of the logical side. Lately, I have been expressing my creativity through writing, crafts, art, and school work(Seriously, I signed up as design editor for the newspaper) Hopefully, I do not get the position. I have yearbook on my mind already :)!

I started to write, instead of blogging. I have a feeling I am being stalked sometimes. I wish I can run away into some sort of surreal dream to fascinate me. Life as I know it, is usually boring.

I'll read my mythology book to let the time pass by. OH wait friends is on! I swear that show is too witty. *love it! especially phoebe!* Hm then after I need to bake a cake for leadership. Don't ask why, I just have to. At least I am fortunate to making it in that freakin' class!

I will blog more someday. I want to watch the incredibles.*random*

on an emotional rollercoaster

I went to a school dance today. Oh gosh at first it was okay just the usual freak dancing people battling, dance. I then realized that no one had the camera to take pictures for journalism. Oh gosh did I panic. I'm too paranoid when there is an unfinished task. Well, I knew my friend Neil had a camera so I asked him if I could borrow it. Well, he was surely kind enough to say yeah, but then it was his dad's and he kinda stole it from him, so then I just said naw.

I was sort of bumed out after the camera incident. I was eating pizza and punch while everyone else was slow dancing. I saw a flash and I thought it was the special effects the lights made. Yeah, but it was really Neil taking pictures for the yearbook :)! AWW so sweet of him. We then started taking pictures and talking. Right then and there I knew there was a moment! Oh gosh and then I tilted my head(litterally i tilted my head) and I thought he was sort of cute.(EW hell naw he can't be) I avoided it by hanging out with Arjay. Oh gosh, he stole my bag and locked me up in the guy's bathroom. HOLY shizz good thing no one was using the urinals! Oh gosh this guy named Andrew came out and he was like umm... haha it was hilarious... well he didnt even wash his hands soo yeah I am not touching him anymore!

Oh gosh, how the hell was there a spark with a guy name NEIL! NO there can't be. It was just a good thing he did for me right? Ugh, and I still kinda have a thing for Arjay his bestfriend. DANG I am gonna find better guys, or they can find me. Ugh so disgusting, Neil is definitely a brother to me. I'll get over it soon.

and it hurts so bad...

I neglect this site. Oh well, like anybody bothers to read. Well, my intention was for this to be a private site. Eh...

What really is the meaning of life? A fulfilment of love and happiness? A lesson taught by experience? Is it something to prove or is it merely a cycle? Whatever it is, life has been good to me. Children in Ethiopia have malnutrition and live in poverty. I am not just talking to the kids in Ethiopia, it's all over the world! Kids, adults, the elderly... Doesn't hurt to see your own class of animals starving while you have the ticket to eat food and throw half of it away? Isn't it painful knowing there is blood spilling, and the government passing laws of killing one another because of a criminal act? Why aren't we using our brains to solve these atrocities? Doesn't it even hurt for some people to see people on the verge of dying?

All I Ever Wanted.

All I ever wanted, was to be heard. Someone to just listen to me; to let my self go. I never seek advice, nor a second oppinion, but instead, just to have someone listen and know. It would be a miracle to find somebody who would do this task...

Probably that is what I need; a listener. I can't stand people just randomly giving advice when I do not seek for it. It just causes an interruption, I am SO serious. It is hard nowaday to find somebody I can just talk to without stifling me with comments and critizims. GOSH! people really need to develop listening skills. I think the teens should read the 7 habit habits of highly effective teens. Just gives you another perspective of things, and it really helps me often.

Oh gosh, today was the worst. I totally failed my project, probably got a C on my test, and had TWO meetings to go to. I am only in junior high! I am not a miracle worker!Well, I probably had a little slice of highschool =\.

Well, arjay is talking to me and we usually have long conversations gotta toodle! buh bye!

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

RIGHT!

Yesterday was my piano recital. I swear I practiced SO much in the last week. When I arrived at the recital place, oh gosh. I looked like a dork in there. I was so lost and hopeless, while the other recitalists were starring at me intently. Even Arjay was scaring at me like i was some sort of a mad man. Well, they kind of take it too seriously, so it didn't bother me; it was a vexed thing to do.

Oh gosh, at first, i was late because my shoe broke, and there wasn't an empty lot for parking. Then, I didn't know where to sit, so I had to ask the other people if i sat at this one chair ( which really was the chair). All they did was stare at me. I was like ok screw you too *chuckle.* When I was getting ready to play my piece, I was biting my nails, and well, I did not know what I was biting, so my finger started to bleed! Oh gosh, well I bowed and tried my best. I made a mistake in one of the silent parts so I guess you can say I was fortunate. After, they announced the awards. My heart was pounding like a hammer bouncing off a nail. Thankfully, I recieved the highest rank. I also received a medal for most improved( but they spelled my name wrong!) There was food afterwards, so then I ate a danish, fruits, bagel, and lemonade. That was only the apetizers I guess because my whole family went to a chinese restaurant after the recital. We ordered an immense amount of food. Oh gosh, it was a miracle to finish everything, but suddenly, the miracle struck us, and the food was gone in an instant.

BLAH

Don't you just ever feel like 'blah'? No emotion? No anxiety? Just nothing? Lately, I've been feeling blah. I think its a chronic disease that has spread upon me and I can't do anything about it. My face has just been blanched with blahness even if I try my hardest not to feel this emotion. Is it even an emotion?

Ironically, I have no emotion whatsoever. Well, now I am skeptical with the no emotion issue, I guess I'm a little frustrated. Nothing interesting has been going on, it's just the same old stuff people rave about that doesn't reflect upon me. I hate it when im just bored with lameness. I wish my life can be uplifting and exhillerating, well just something that is charismatic atleast. Why do I feel this way? I know sometimes that I can really be inconsiderate of people's feelings because probably I just don't want to hear about them. It's great to listen to things with a point, such as to laugh or feel sad about, but when it comes to their stuff that has nothing to do with my life or their life, OR ANYONE ELSE"S LIFE! Why even mention it? It's just too tedious, I swear. Probably I've been suffering from boredom instead of blah.

Other than that, I guess there are some interesting topics lately. RJ dude is actually really, well fascinating. He has so much in common with me that it's just scary nowaday. He can also be capable of having a sweet side. Well, it is probably in the personality package personally delivered in the past month. I saw signs of him just not necessarily wanting to be sweet but in a way he is sort of trying. Well, I guess he is not playing hard to get, he is hard to get. In a way, he makes my day=].